I’m counting the measures until the 2nd violin solo entrance. Two bars to go. My body feels like jelly. I know I won’t be able to do this. But I pretend, and lift the bow up toward the string to start the passage. Every cell in my body is screaming RUN!! My bow arm feels like a rubber prosthesis. I’m either going to throw up or have a heart attack. GAME OVER, my mind shrieks. I force my right hand and arm to start moving the bow on the string…and leap into the void.

It wasn’t until I started reading the Bible that I realized this: the battle I had been losing against anxiety is fought in the mind. It’s a battle between truth and lies. We need to think about our thoughts! And ask ourselves, is this thought even true? Managing our minds is OUR responsibility. No one can do it for us. And it’s crucial in overcoming anxiety. Our ANTS can kill us! We can’t afford to be passive with them. I had to decide to do something about my thoughts…my stinkin’ thinkin’. And I discovered that it CAN be done!

First, we have to get aware of the ANTS…repetitive loops and endless ruminations that steal our peace. What are you dwelling on when your anxiety starts? Is what you’re thinking actually true? Test and challenge each thought.

Part of gaining awareness is realizing the effect ANTS have on us physically. When you feel anxious, where does it show up in your body? Tight jaw? Clenched shoulders? Stomach problems? Racing heart? Shallow breathing?

Along with physical ‘tells’, we also get emotional symptoms of anxiety: apprehension, dread, fear, insecurity, intimidation, and more. Think back to what you were thinking about when those feelings started.

If we can recognize how anxious thoughts affect us, we can get to the root of them, and do something about it. ANTS create a prison in our minds, but we can walk right out, if we decide to. And we can ask God to give us awareness of our ANTS.

We can’t assume that all our thoughts are true. Neuroscientists tell us that we think around 50,000 thoughts every day; and the majority of them aren’t true! The Bible teaches that there has been a war between truth and lies going on from the beginning. And that sin and evil first came into Creation through a lie from Satan.

Jesus described Satan this way:

“He was a murderer from the beginning. He has always hated the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, it is consistent with his character; for he is a liar and the father of lies.” John 8:44

How can we know what thoughts are true, and which ones are anxiety-creating lies? We need an objective standard to examine our thoughts by. That’s why God gave us His Word, the Bible…so we can know the truth and be able to discern truth from lies. The best of human philosophy, reasoning, and even science is continually evolving. But God’s Word is unchanging.

“All people are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field; the grass withers and the flowers fall, but the Word of the Lord endures forever.” 1 Peter 1:25

“Heaven and earth will pass away, but My words will never pass away.” -Jesus, in Matthew 24:25

We need to take every thought through the filter of the Word of God to see whether it’s the truth, or a lie. The more time we spend reading the Bible, meditating on truth, the easier it will be to rule our minds and take control of the ANTS.

If I could go back to that horrible concert in Saltzburg, when my ANTS were running roughshod through my mind, rendering me helpless and paralyzed, I would tell myself the truth from the Bible:

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13

“My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9

“In all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.” Romans 8:37

Journal Exercise:

Write out 2 recurring Automatic Negative Thoughts, and any feelings that accompany them.

Look up or Google Scripture passages that speak to those feelings or thoughts, and write a couple of verses out.

Revisit those verses when ANTS come back.

Prayer:

Father, help me take control of my thoughts. Show me when ANTS try to get into my thinking. Grow my awareness, so I can choose TRUTH that brings life and freedom, not anxiety! Thank You for helping me. In the name of Jesus I ask. AMEN

In the Passover, it was deliverance for the children of Israel from slavery in Egypt. In the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ, it was deliverance from our slavery to sin, and eternal separation from God.

What does this have to do with coaching? Everything!

The topic of anxiety comes up more frequently than any other in my coaching practice. And I am no stranger to it, myself. And anxiety sure feels a lot like slavery, doesn’t it?

I came across this Bible verse in Isaiah that speaks about our fears:

“I, even I, am He who comforts you. Who are you that you fear mere mortals, human beings who are but grass, that you forget the Lord your Maker, who stretches out the heavens and who lays the foundations of the earth, that you live in constant terror every day because of the wrath of the oppressor, who is bent on destruction? For where is the wrath of the oppressor? The cowering prisoners will soon be set free; they will not die in their dungeon, nor will they lack bread. For I am the Lord your God, who stirs up the sea so that its waves roar- the Lord Almighty is His name.” Isaiah 51:12-15

Here is the truth: Jesus has overcame the oppressor by His sacrifice on the cross, and by His bodily resurrection. Satan has no power over anyone who puts their faith in Christ. We don’t have to live like captives in the dungeon of anxiety.

Those who are in Christ have no reason to fear anything or anyone! Do we need reminders of this all the time? Yes! The devil will always try to distort truth and sow doubt about what God has said.

If you haven’t ever investigated who Jesus is…I encourage you to read His words in the Bible, in the Gospel accounts…and ask Him to show you the truth. The truth sets us free…from sin, death, and anxiety.

Early on in my journey to overcoming anxiety, I came across a passage in the Bible, a goldmine, really…that became my template for how to face fear. In the Old Testament, 2 Chronicles 20 recounts how King Jehosophat and the people of God were about to be obliterated by three pagan armies that had joined forces against them. They were outgunned and outnumbered by a lot, with no hope of escape. With a massacre imminent, the king gathered all the people together, declared a fast, and cried out to God:

“O Lord, You see what is coming against us. We don’t know what to do, but our eyes are on You.”

While the people were all standing before the Lord praying, God gave a word of knowledge to someone in the crowd:

“You will not need to fight this battle; the battle belongs to the Lord. He will fight for you. You only need to stand still and see the deliverance the Lord will bring.” 2 Chronicles 20: 15-18

And so, by faith, the people took up their armor and weapons and marched out against the enemy; praising and thanking God as they went. Get that…they praised and thanked God BEFORE they saw any miracle or deliverance.

AS SOON AS they began marching and praising God, the three invading armies turned on EACHOTHER and annihilated themselves, with no survivors! BEFORE the Israelites could even reach them or raise a weapon! What???

God really put an exclamation point on that one. He could have MOSTLY taken out the enemies, and had the Israelites just finish them off. But God displayed His power in this resounding slam dunk that was heard around the nations, putting fear in the heart of every enemy of God and His people. “The battle is the Lord’s” means the battle is the Lord’s!!

The story grabbed me and lit me up. This was MY story too, now. The demonic attack of anxiety was just like these advancing armies coming against God’s people. As a new follower of Christ, I was now a child of God. I could cry out to God for help, just like them, and He would hear me!

I used 2 Chronicles 20 as my own personal battle plan for anxiety. Every time I saw the fear thoughts coming against me while performing a concert, I sought the Lord; told Him my trouble, just like Jehosophat, and trusted Him to fight the battle FOR me. My part was to take up my position, stand firm, and BELIEVE. To walk out on stage, whether I felt confident or not. Feelings didn’t get a vote. I praised and thanked God as I went, as I played my violin. And what happened? Victory! Game over for anxiety!

I prayed, prepared, and kept showing up by faith…to face the enemy head on and advance TOWARD it. Even if my hands shook, even if I was sweating bullets. As it turned out, none of that mattered one bit!

Before, even noticing the symptoms of anxiety would make my anxiety skyrocket! But I had seen God carry me through, no matter what. God was never handcuffed by my infirmities. In fact, the more of a mess I was, the more amazing the display of His power. God can turn ANYTHING around…in a heartbeat.

My anxiety grew as the day approached. I was terrified I would lose my nerve, have a memory slip, or trip over my tongue. I realized that the only way I was going to get through this was to stop focusing on the outcome and instead look to God. A Scripture came to mind, from Matthew 6:33. “Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be given to you.”

Was I prizing a good speech, and not looking like an idiot…more than God’s presence? Could seeking God first, ahead of the outcome I wanted, be the antidote to my anxiety? I decided to repeat that Scripture to myself every time I had a fear thought about the speech. When my thoughts would veer toward all the what if’s and oh no’s, I would stop myself and go through the verse in my mind. I was still saying it under my breath as I walked out on the stage holding the microphone, to greet the audience.

God came through on the promise, and I had more than enough courage, strength, and even joy…as I spoke to the audience. All the things I needed, I was given. What situation is creating anxiety for you right now? What if you personalized Matthew 6:33 and tried it for yourself?

It’s a useful tactic for working toward goals, in daily life, and a strategy I talk about with coaching clients. Goals aren’t usually achieved in one try…but by many repeated, intentional efforts. Even if it’s a small gain; if we’re moving in the direction of our goal, that’s a win. Not to overstate the obvious, but it’s worth asking: am I moving in the right direction? It’s always good to check in with fundamentals.

In a football game, it sometimes looks like one lame drive after another, but then BAM! Suddenly there’s a touchdown. Next time you’re overwhelmed with a task in front of you, instead of worrying about the touchdown, what if you just move the football down the field? Even one yard? Small beginnings; small intentional behaviors, done over and over, can get you to the end zone if you just keep going.

“Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin…” Zechariah 4:10

But the experience is yielding some good stuff, too….coaching lessons that are helping me and maybe will help you as well.

1)It’s ok to be needy and weak.

I’ve always thought of myself as fairly capable and self-sufficient. As a professional violinist, I’ve had a performance mentality that transferred into multiple areas of my life. And wow, how this post-op recovery has blown that to smithereens. But…I learned that I can be ok in weakness, that it’s ok to need help, and that I can opt out of ‘performance mode.’ (Shout out to my terrific hubby, Michael, without whom I would not have gotten through this!)

2) Just receive the help! (And ask for help!)

Does anyone else feel awkward accepting help? Does it make you feel guilty? Obligated? Unworthy? This one was hard for me. I had new eyes for Peter, in the Bible, arguing with Jesus when He went to wash Peter’s feet. “Never shall You wash my feet!” Jesus answered him, “If I do not wash you, you have no place with Me.”

There is a time to just RECEIVE. There’s another principle at work here, too: “It’s more blessed to give than to receive,” Jesus taught. It blesses the giver to give the help! And we rob that blessing from the giver when we won’t just let them give to us. Food for thought.

3) At times, good enough is enough.

There are times to strive for excellence, and times to aim for just a minimum. I had to let go of my schedule of accomplishing stuff and hitting daily goals; of having everything squared away all the time. My new, (temporary) daily win: taking a shower! 😂

Did the earth teeter off its axis because I didn’t get a darn thing done most days? No! Welcome to the land of Good Enough. 😅

4)Just because it hurts right now doesn’t mean it will hurt forever.

When we’re in pain in any of its forms, doesn’t it feel endless and hopeless? Like this is your lot, forevermore?? We get in a tunnel of physical or emotional pain, and it seems like a pit we’ll never get out of. I needed this reminder about God: “He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” Revelation 21:4

Fellow strugglers, be encouraged today! What lessons are there in your tough situation? What if the thing that looks like a handicap is actually moving you forward?

Control is an issue that comes up often with my coaching clients. In my own experience, I’ve found a high correlation between trying to control things, and my anxiety level. The harder we try to control outcomes, the more stressed out we are. Here are some common forms of control: rescuing, enabling, unsolicited advice, people pleasing, avoidance, manipulation, spinning the truth, managing perceptions…and the regrettable list goes on. Humbling, isn’t it? And exhausting!

Does any of this really accomplish what we think it will? What if we just run in our own lane, being diligent with what’s right in front of us…and trust God for the outcomes? Let the cookie crumble, as they say? I feel relieved just thinking about it!

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not to your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5

The Bible says “It’s not by (human) power or strength, but by My Spirit’, says the Lord.” Zechariah 4:6.

Traditional counseling and coaching provide some benefits. But permanent, actual change and healing come from the Lord; by the work of the Holy Spirit. What a relief that transformation doesn’t rest on us! We don’t have what it takes in our limited human strength, but God provides what we lack. Do we contribute anything to the equation? Yes! Our willingness to cooperate with what the Spirit is doing. Jesus said this, to a crippled man He was about to heal: “Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.” John 5:8. The guy was willing to follow Jesus’ instructions, and as he did so, he was healed.

So when we consider areas in life we want to grow in, instead of trying harder, what if we focus on our willingness to simply cooperate with God, and then rely on His power?

That grabbed me. I had to pause and think: how often do we pray about our worries and anxieties, and then promptly start worrying again? When we second-guess and overcomplicate things, we end up being double-minded. And it creates confusion and MORE anxiety.

The Bible says this: A double-minded man is “unstable in all his ways.” James 1:8

And this from 1 Kings 18:21: “Elijah came near to all the people and said, ‘How long will you hesitate between two opinions? If the Lord is God, follow Him; but if Baal, follow him.’ But the people did not answer him a word.”

We can choose! And there is a clear choice to be made. So why on earth do we choose to worry and be anxious? What exactly are we getting out of it? How is it serving us? What would it feel like to finally draw a line in the sand, to pray about it….and then STOP WORRYING? The beautiful simplicity! Single-mindedness! How would it affect our level of peace? Enjoyment of life?

“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7

The second part of that chaplain’s quote….”if you worry, don’t pray”…I heartily disagreee! If we notice ourselves worrying, we can always do a reset, and run to God in prayer with our worries. We can start over any time in this pursuit of single-mindedness.

Consider how it could simplify our lives if we decided what our values are, and then align decisions with those values. Our feelings come and go. Basing decisions on them is a recipe for chaos, plenty of anxiety, and stunted personal growth. By God’s grace, I didn’t allow my fears to influence my career decision. I would have missed out on the amazing 35 year adventure I had as a violinist with the LA Philharmonic.

Values can be a plumb-line to evaluate our behaviors, thoughts, words, and goals…and can help us achieve greater congruency between what we say we want to do, and what we actually do. Our feelings need to be acknowledged and owned, but we don’t have to let them run our life.

What values are important to you? Maybe write some out on paper. When those values are clear and unchanging in your mind, ask yourself if your thoughts, words, and actions are in agreement with your values. Decision making will become a lot less confusing and stressful.

“…in all things showing yourself to be a pattern of good works…” Titus 2:7

How is your faith? Are you believing for big things? Are you struggling with unbelief? God is not a genie in a bottle, but He invites us into a life of bold faith. Faith in ourselves, in our own abilities? In the universe? No! Faith in God, His Word, and in His incomparably great power for those who believe.

Here are a few faith builders from the Bible to grab hold of:

“With God all things are possible.” Matthew 19:23

“In Your strength I can brutal an army; with he God I can scale any wall.” Psalm 18:29

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

What tough thing in your life can you apply these life-giving words to, and rewrite the script? No matter how impossible it looks? FYI, its way more fun to believe BIG than to doubt! 😁

I came across a great solution from the counseling pastor at our church, Dan Broyles: how about we take the fearful “what if” and turn it into a faith “what if?” For example: what if…this turned out to be a great day? What if…God is doing something amazing here? What if…fill in the blank with something GOOD.

It is way more fun to think hopeful thoughts than dread thoughts! And the beauty of it is, we can choose our thoughts. And we need to, before they run amok! We don’t have to believe everything we think.

Let’s take ownership of our thoughts by getting aware of the negative “what ifs”, and replacing them with faith “what ifs.”

“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” 2 Corinthians 10:5

Jesus had a stressed out, anxious friend, Martha, who was complaining that her sister Mary, instead of helping her with her tasks, was sitting at the feet of Jesus, listening to Him teach. He said to the anxious one, “Martha, Martha…you are worried and anxious about many things, but few things are needed- or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” Matthew 10:41

We also have this illustration that Jesus gave, with a small child: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 18:3. This is talking about humility. It takes humility to acknowledge that God is God. Does anxiety acknowledge God? Can anxiety and humility exist at the same time in our hearts? Anxiety tries to control outcomes; humility knows that God controls the outcomes.

Picture how little kids act with a loving, good father. They run to him, and jump in his arms when he comes home from work, with an exuberant “DADDYYYYY!!!” And he scoops them up in a bear hug, delighting in them. It’s the highlight of his day. Those beloved kids aren’t overthinking or anxious about anything. They know their father loves them, provides for them, and protects them. They trust him, believe what he tells them, and follow his leading. Why? Because there is a track record of love and faithfulness on the dad’s part.

We know God’s character from what He has revealed about Himself in the Bible. He gave His Son for us; how will He not also freely give us all things? We truly can let go of all of our anxieties with a Father like this.

Hurts and trauma from our past can lead us to form some faulty conclusions and wrong assumptions; conceivably, to protect us from ever experiencing those things again. For example: if I were painfully betrayed by a friend, I might form a conclusion that it’s not safe to open up with anyone. Or if I were abused or neglected as a child, I might take on the subconscious idea that my needs are not important, so it’s better to not show neediness. Some degree of ‘live and learn’ is necessary in life. But are the conclusions we’ve come to actually true? Are we making sweeping generalizations, based on past events, that now shape our current reactions and decisions? Do we ever challenge the stories we tell ourselves? And check the lense that we’re seeing through? Is there another way to see it? Are untrue assumptions keeping us stuck, repeating old patterns?

Proverbs 3:5 says “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not to your own understanding. In all your ways submit to Him and He will make your paths straight.”

Jesus told us in John 16:13 “When the Spirit of truth comes, He will guide you into all truth.”

What if we ask the Holy Spirit to show us our faulty assumptions? Let’s grab hold of this Bible promise: “you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:31.

Just thinking about it hurts my heart, and probably yours as well. What can I even say of all of this grief? I know that the last thing suffering people need is to have their pain minimized, or for others to assume they know what the sufferers are going through. I can only imagine, and cry with them.

When we’re overwhelmed, the Bible tells us to pour out our hearts to God. To lament with Him, to Him; to acknowledge our grief and fear and devastation to Him. He’s big enough to handle it. He wants our honesty. He already knows our condition; why pretend we’re ok when we’re not? Healing can start when we articulate what we’re feeling, and bring it into the light with Jesus.

“The Lord is close to the broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18